You can make any point and share any thought through a monolog or a dialog. On any topic, you can lecture or have a discussion. As a leader, parent, teacher, trainer, or coach, you get to decide. The difference is that when you start a dialog, people get enrolled in the conversation in contrast to being bystanders to it.
Yet when the right approach is used with the right person given their circumstances, people do change. People do achieve lasting change in their habits, behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes. People do overcome addictions, traumas, and mental illnesses. People do become patient, humble, compassionate, and empathetic. People do overcome anger, fear, and anxiety. They do permanently lose weight, exercise, and regain their health. But, yes, for some, change requires an extreme approach.
What makes conflict especially difficult is when it becomes a cycle. One person says or does something, an action, that triggers another person to say or do something in response, a reaction. The reaction then triggers the initial person to say or do something else which then starts a cycle that repeats and deepens the conflict.
You don’t need to be a psychologist, but success in the free world requires that you know how to read, treat, and work with people. You will be most successful by making people feel valued and respected. When you show that you care about people, they become better versions of themselves, give more effort, and achieve more. They will also pay it forward if not directly return the favor to you.
If you are a “just get it done” person who focuses on what needs to get done today, you might be thinking “focusing on today is just my personality and who I am.” Or “I just like to check things off of my to-do list.”
